"We Grow Too Soon Old and Too Late Wise"

Have truer words ever been written?  I know it certainly resonates with me.

I remember, in the third grade, thinking my 3rd grade teacher was "old".  Doing some calculations, she was, maybe, 40 years old....old to a third grader but certainly not to me, now.  Or take a look at some old-time photos...granted, they had harder lives than we have now, but really?   "Old" truly is all a matter of perspective.

Many young girls seem to be in such a rush to be older....years ago, you could count me among them.  I remember sneaking into my sister's make-up or begging my Mom to let me  wear nylons...I get it.  I can also tell the youngsters that becoming older comes soon enough and then....there you are....older.

And the "too late wise"part?     I should have taken learning more seriously.  There's a difference between book smarts and common sense, and if given a choice, I guess  I'd  rather opt for the common sense part. But I should have worked harder at having a combination of the two.  Maybe it's not too late.

I know age on your face doesn't guarantee wisdom...that's for sure.  There are plenty of old-timers who, in spite of making countless mistakes, haven't learned from them yet.  And plenty of fresh-faced kids who are wise beyond their years. Perhaps we could form a coalition, learn from one another and change that up a bit to "grow too soon wise and too late old"...  I wish!

I Want To Tell Them That....

 Grandkids...Is there anything better? The joy of having youngsters around... without the constant need to keep an eye on them...that's their parents' job. Sure, there's a lot of love and concern for them, but the ultimate way they turn out rests on someone else's shoulders...our kids'.

I don't have the luxury of having my grandkids here in the same town that we live in. I don't have the weekly or daily drop ins, but I learned a long time ago, that our kids have to be happy where they are...and I'm glad to say, my kids are happy.

 My biggest concern for having out-of-town grandkids is that I don't want them to forget me... Their visits are a couple times a year for the holidays... and they each stay with us for a week in the summer, for one-on-one time. Just returned one back to her home for the last visit of the summer. I just hope all that's enough...but just in case...

 # I want to tell them that, even though we're not at all their games, shows and all their other activities, they're always in our hearts and on our minds.

 # I want to tell them that they don't need anyone's affection or approval to be good enough.

# I want to tel them that if they're kind and pleasant to others and they don't reciprocate, that's a "them" problem and not a "you" problem. Keep being kind and pleasant.

 # I want to tell them (and this is from someone far wiser than me) that one smile can start a friendship, one word can end a fight, and one person can change a life. Have that smile, say that word and be that person.

# I want to tell them not to sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff.

# I want to tell them how truly blessed they are and to always be grateful for what they have.

# I want to tell them to keep God in their lives...they're going to need Him. # I want to tell them that they should take time to appreciate the little things.

# I want to tell them how much they're loved by their parents and the rest of their family -no matter what.

#I want to tell them that laughter is the best therapy in the world...so laugh often...

 There are so many things going on in kids' lives today that we never had to deal with when we were raising kids. It's tough, I know. And just in case my kids read this... I want to tell them, too, that laughter is the best therapy in the world, for parents, as well. So keep laughin', kids, and thanks for sharing your "blessings" with us....

A Dog's Life...

As I lay awake another night - thinking, worrying, praying -   our dog, snoring beside us, I've decided, in the next life, I want to come back as our dog.

Sleep without a care in the world... the biggest decision is "Should I go after that ball or just chew on this bone"....someone to pick up after me....having my meals put out before me...an occasional pat on the head for the most mundane thing...never giving a thought as to how I look or what I should wear...hanging at the dog park, making new friends all the time...

Our dog greets folks a bit more ferociously than I would,  but she'll follow you to your car, after the slightest friendly attention, hoping for a ride, windows open, ears flapping in the wind.... An occasional treat, chasing birds, instead of deadlines, a chance to run back and forth in the yard at the sight of a UPS truck, is all it takes to make her happy.  If only life was that simple...

Yep, if there's such a thing as reincarnation, I wanna come back as my dog!

"What Are You Waiting For?"

My husband was a teacher many years ago...  And he was a good one.  Deciding to leave the profession was probably one of the hardest decisions he ever had to make.  Continuing to coach football for 30 some years made it less painful but I know he missed teaching...and probably misses it, still.

In our house, we have tremendous respect for teachers.  We raised two of them.  And even though education has changed immensely through the years, the bottom line is still - that those who are with our kids, day in and day out, in the classroom - have a huge impact on their lives.

This was driven home recently when hubby and I were at a community function and what was a fun afternoon provided us with a very profound moment.   We had the good fortune of running into a student and football player from hubby's past.  (That's one of the nicest things about living in a community like ours.  You run into folks you know, all the time...especially if you were involved in their lives or their kids' lives over a 35 year span.). This particular guy approached us, shook hubby's hand and said in front of those we were with, "You know, Coach, you're one of four people who have made me the man I am.  When others didn't think I'd amount to much, back in high school, and were writing me off, you challenged me to be more."  I don't think I ever said "Thanks".  So thanks."  And then he was gone.  Wow!  Who knew?

So I guess the message is this.  If you're a teacher and you think for one minute that you aren't making a difference, you're wrong!  You are!  It may not be realized immediately but somewhere down the road, you may find out, as my husband did, that you made a real difference to someone.  And the second layer to this message is, if you feel a certain way about someone who has touched your life, in the classroom, in the workplace or just in your everyday life, tell them!   What are you waiting for?  Feelings and words are powerful.  They can make someone's day or change someone's life.  You never know.

For one sunny day in July,  I know that someone sure made an old teacher/coach feel good about his efforts those many years ago.  Thank you for that.  

The Top 40 Countdown

 I was messing around with my Ipod, downloading some music and that got me to thinking of the advancements in technology, where music's concerned.  I don't know how it all works but it's really something... you can "drag" a song from one place, like my Ipad, to my MP3 player.  Amazing!

It hasn't always been that easy.  I remember, as a young girl, going to music stores  or the record section at a department store, with my hard-earned allowance in hand, ready to purchase the latest hit.  That "45" or "single" would be played over and over on our record player, to the point of our being sick of it within the week...then we'd move onto another favorite song.

We seldom purchased "albums"... first, because they were pricey and you had to play through some crummy songs before you got to the one you liked.  

It's funny how, when you think back to a memory and that spawns another one.  In this silly memory, I'm waiting with my sister, for the popular radio station, WSAI, to play the Top 40 - a countdown of the most popular music of our day.  It took place on Saturday mornings... We were supposed to be cleaning our  room, but in between the dusting and the straightening, we had another task to tend to.  We'd take turns, writing down the names of the songs, as they were played.   By the time our room was done, we'd have a list of the top records in the listening area.  (The term "losers" wasn't used back then but I'm pretty sure it would have applied in this instance.)  What were we even going to do with that silly list?  

Someone eventually got the idea to print the list, sell advertising space and distribute the countdown sheets through music stores and restaurants...to boost record sales and sell whatever they were advertising.  Shoot!   We missed an opportunity!  Instead of doing chores, we should've been hawking advertising and printing out our own lists! Who knows where we'd be today?  

Really, we were glad someone came up with the concept and we were sure to pick up the "Top 40" sheet at Imfeld's Music Store or at The Country Kitchen when we were uptown.   But cleaning our room sure wasn't as much fun as it used to be!

Our First Nest

I was perusing the real estate ads and of course, that took me back to a simpler (and less expensive) time.  42 years ago, to be exact.  That was when hubby and I were getting ready for our wedding and our life together.  That, naturally, would require a place to live...and since our folks weren't begging us to stay with them...(no kidding?) we needed to get busy.  Buying a house was out of the question...what were we going to do?

Fate was smiling on us, as my sister and her husband were getting ready to buy a house. Talk about luck!  The place they had rented was going to be available!  They had lived in a charming farmhouse in a farming community that was on the cusp of tremendous growth.  And it was going to be OURS!  

Not so fast.  We had to meet the landlords and they had to give their approval.  They were an elderly couple who lived in a farmhouse adjacent to the one we hoped to live in.  I wasn't sure how they were going to feel about us.  They loved my sister and her husband but that was "them" and this was "us".

The meeting time was set, we introduced ourselves, and we were welcomed into their home.  Very sternly, the woman said "It will be $100.00 a month, no children and no pets".  Now, this was for a four bedroom house, sitting on a beautiful piece of land!  Are you kidding me?  Kids and pets weren't in our immediate future so YES! YES! YES!

Our wedding took place and we settled into life, as newlyweds, in our homey little nest.  We became better acquainted with the landlords and they warmed up to the young couple who was fortunate to be their tenants.  "Pearl", who never had children of her own, was so kind to a young gal who couldn't cook.  She shared her know-how in the kitchen, kept us in produce and provided us with an occasional chicken that first year of married life.   We would sit on their porch swing and listen to their stories about farm life from an earlier time, take them to an occasional appointment, pick up groceries for them when we went to the store...things neighbors and friends do.  They were terrific people and we loved them.

Which is why telling "Pearl" and "Bill" the wonderful news that we were going to be parents, presented us with a dilemma.  "No kids allowed"...we'd have to leave our dear sweet neighbors...  And where were we going to go?

We mustered up the nerve to go knock on their door.  "Pearl" invited us in...she always had something sweet in the kitchen so we sat down...and before even taking a bite, I blurted out, almost crying "I'm pregnant... we wanted to tell you we'll be moving out.  I'm so sorry".  (I was apologizing for leaving them, tenant-less, not for being pregnant, first son.). Anyway, we walked back to our place, not knowing where we would end up.

The next day, Pearl was outside, weeding, and when she saw me, invited us for dessert again that evening.  We went over and certainly weren't prepared for what she said next.  "Bill and I discussed your situation last night and made a decision.  We'd like you to stay".   "Are you kidding us?    Thank you!  Thank you!"  "We also decided", she said, that you'll be needing money for the baby, so we want you to pay $90.00 a month for rent.  You put that $10.00 to good use, now, hear? " Now, who DOES that?  We were overwhelmed by their kindness, mumbled our thanks and went home to our place.

We had our first son, managed to save up a small down payment for a starter home, and eventually left that cozy farmhouse in Fairfield.    Pearl and Bill are gone now, so is their farm and our first "home".   It's funny... People come into your life and, with an act of kindness, become indelible in your memory.  That's how it is with Pearl and Bill.  They impacted our lives in a way they probably never even realized.  Not just the monetary thing, but they showed a young couple, just starting out, how far-reaching an act of kindness can go.  42 years...  And I'm STILL grateful for their example.

"Where Are All The Kids?"

I asked myself that question when I was driving thru our neighborhood on a recent summer day.  The weather was way too nice for them to be inside.  Where are they?

I know that, today, so many Moms have to work.  Not for frivolous things, not for personal fulfillment, but just to make ends meet.  And that makes me sad.

I, along with most of the kids I grew up with in the 50's and 60's, had stay-at-home Moms...and I always felt very blessed.  Sure, we had some pre-women's lib "pioneers", but for the most part, our Moms were home all day.  And that made for a terrific childhood!

Life was a lot simpler then.  Dads went to work, the kids did their chores and then were outside most of the day.  Most of the homes in our neighborhood had two, three or more kids, per house...  a lively neighborhood, for sure!  Knocking on doors was reserved for grown ups... An "Oh, Nancy" or an "Oh, Debbie" was all it took to summon someone to play.

There were kickball games to be played, lemonade stands to be tended, doll carriages to be pushed with our neighbor friends, bikes to be ridden...  Oh, it wasn't always utopia though - we were kids, after all.  Sometimes, disagreements would break out and the lines would be drawn.  But the 3 kids who weren't getting along with 3 other kids one day would eventually make up and the next tussle might have a totally different group of kids siding with former "enemies" against their former "friends". We were kids and we worked it out.

It seems that there was always something to do in our neighborhood.  If it was just sitting around, talking about what we were going to do the next day, we were outside.  Later in the day, we would be interrupted by the whistle of the  nearby automobile factory, signaling the end of the workday.  That meant the Dads would return home, supper would be eaten, and the kids would be back out for more fun.  Playing dodge ball, Spud, jump rope, catching lightening bugs...then the street lights would come on...the universal signal that it was time to say "so long" and head for home.  But we knew that tomorrow would offer more of the same....neighborhood kids, good times.

Back then, everyone knew their neighbors.  And looked out for one another.  If you were getting into something that wasn't approved of, it wasn't unheard of to get a correction from a neighbor kid's Mom.  And that was okay.

Now, I'm not saying that today's home lives and neighborhoods aren't terrific... It's just different now.  But I feel so fortunate that I grew up when I did.  I'm sure this all sounds very "corny" to those who didn't.  Kids today are so advanced, compared to the goofy kids that I called "friends".  But I wouldn't trade those years, those friends, those times, those memories, for anything in the world.

"What Price Beauty?

I know I've touched on this topic in other posts...how far we women go to look good.  The hair coloring, the clothes, the working out, the make up.  And I know I've joked on Facebook about how my Mom would cut my bangs, unbelievably short, the night before school pictures or how we all endured those smelly permanents, as kids.  All for the sake of "looking good"....

I had forgotten, until I was looking through some old photos, perhaps, the most ridiculous lengths we went to...and that was the use of hair rollers!  Whether they were the plastic ones or those mesh, bristly ones,  we counted on them to give us gorgeous curls or beautiful waves.  Sometimes they worked, sometimes...not so much.

I remember slathering on "Dippity-Do", a pink gelatinous product that was supposed to  increase the "hold"....and rolling my hair...almost nightly.  That's right!  We slept on those tortuous tubes, with "picks" poking into our scalps, didn't we? That may have been when my sleeping disorder got its start....and no wonder!  I remember, too, having rollers in my hair, during the daytime, and throwing on a scarf, before heading to the store.  Yeah, that scarf really made it all look better!

In looking at  old photos, I can honestly say that my hair never looked good enough to justify having endured the pain and inconvenience of hair rollers.

We all have it so easy now with nicer haircuts, better styling products, hair dryers, and curling irons these days....and never having to put up with those goofy looking curlers again.  I'm certain that today's young women wouldn't be caught dead outside in those things.  They have too much sense and class.   Oh, wait a minute...I just spotted a young lady, at the store,  in flannel sleep pants.    I stand corrected! 

Things I'm Giving Thanks For...

 I am very blessed in my life and thankful every day-   for things like family, friends, my faith, my home, etc.  That's a given, not just during the holidays but year round.  Well, the holidays are in the distant past and I have come up with a list of mundane things that probably don't get any appreciation but make my life a bit nicer..  So here goes...

#Queen or king sized beds. My marriage of 42 years would not have lasted in anything smaller....
#The Invisible Fence for my dog. Wouldn't have a dog without it....
#True "dollar stores"... I can always find something there and usually have a buck to spare...
#Yoga pants...so comfortable and it looks like I'm working out --- or going to...
#Mr Clean Magic Erasers...where the heck were those when our boys were young?
#My dog...  Another heartbeat in the house....and she never judges...ever.
#"Face Time" or "Skype"....I couldn't live three hours away from my grandkids and be pleasant, without it.
#The 1960's era snowblower that my father-in-law left us 20 years ago and its flawless performance this past winter.
#Coca Cola...anyone who knows me knows that I'm a fan....nectar of the gods....
#Make up and hair products... How fun to reinvent oneself every once in awhile!  
#Pierced earrings....would never have stood for those clip kind!
#The  game of golf...makes hubby happy (most of the time) and it's something we can enjoy together, occasionally...okay...I can enjoy occasionally, playing with him...pretty sure it's not that enjoyable for him...
#Fast food...once in awhile...come on, you know you like it, too!

Well, that's it for now.  Feel free to add to my list.  Or make up your own.  What little thing in your life do you under-appreciate?

"Move Over! We're Going Home!"

I know things have vastly changed in the world of driving since I first got behind the wheel of a car.  I'm so far removed from beginning drivers but I know that they stepped up the requirements to get a license...and that's a good thing.

Back in the 60's ("again, with the going back in time?") getting your driver's license was THE most important thing to a 16 year old.  Having that piece of paper represented the freedom of getting out on your own...It meant trust...that your parents would LET you get out on your own (and come back) and responsibility...that you'd take care of the car, yourself and your passengers.  But before all of that, there had to be "Driver's Training".

For us, it consisted of classroom instruction, watching a gory film (I think it was entitled "Last Prom")  about the dangers of not taking your driving responsibilities seriously, and then you got your "temps", the step before you got your real license.  We were taken out, as a group, to drive  with an instructor, who was equipped with a specially outfitted car (a brake on the passenger's side) and an extra bit of human courage.  Tough job - I know.  Hubby was a driver's ed instructor, to supplement his income as a teacher.  He's very fond of saying that the reason I suck at driving is because I never had him as an instructor. Whateverrrr!)  Anyway, we 16 year olds were on our way!

We were encouraged to do extra driving with our parents to get ready for the big driving test.  Now, my Dad was a patient man, seldom raised his voice, but for a moment in time, I nearly "drove" him to the brink!

On a Sunday afternoon, he thought it was a good idea to go to a local college campus and use their parking lot to practice my driving....show him what I could do.  That practice run was in an old Mercury Comet, with a standard transmission...you know...the kind you have to shift.  No problem..

It was a cold day and I guess that's why Dad didn't want to turn the old car all the way off.  He told me to slide over and put my feet on the brake and the clutch while he walked over to the passenger seat.  Good enough plan for me.

I've tried to figure it out, for years...Maybe youthful inquisitiveness?  Stupid carelessness?  I don't know why but I took my feet off both pedals.  This caused the car to lunge forward, almost hitting my Dad, while he was making his way to the passenger side of the car.  With that, he flew back around to the driver's side, his face the reddest I'd ever seen!  The window was opened just a crack but it was wide enough for me to hear him yell,  "Move over!  We're going home!"  As if the red face and bulging neck vein wasn't enough for me to get the message...

We returned home in silence, Dad  relayed to Mom my stupid move and a swift call to a local driver's ed instructor was made.  I finished my training with "Benny" and passed the test on the first try....something that I'm sure shocked Old Dad.

Through the years, "my knuckleheaded move" ( his words, not mine)  was mentioned.  Dad would smile and still question "what was I thinking?"  I still don't know but I DO know this.  I never wanted to see that expression on the old man's face again.  And I didn't....okay, I did...a few more times... But that's another blog.